[開悟卡] 關係牌組 犧牲

KEY CONCEPTS:

重要概念：

Compensation to pay off guilt; giving without receiving; hidden competition; fear of intimacy

償還罪責；給予沒有接受；隱藏競爭；恐懼親密




Sacrifice is based on a belief that we are unworthy, stemming directly from guilt.

犧牲是基於一種信念：我們是不配的，直接源於內疚。

It is an act in which we go into a form of slavery, because we have stopped loving ourselves.

這是一種進入奴役的行為，因為我們已經停止愛自己。

So we give, but do not receive, and soon run out of energy.

所以我們付出，但不接受，很快就耗盡了能量。

This leads to exhaustion and burnout.

這會導致耗竭和燃燒殆盡。

Sacrifice is a fundamental defense against a loss we have suffered, but never recovered from.

犧牲是我們遭受損失的根本防禦，但從來沒有復原。

So our defense against these feelings is to help others as a form of avoidance, so that we do not have to deal with our own pain.

所以我們對這些感情的防禦是採用 "幫助他人" 的方法作為一種迴避形式，使我們不必處理自己的痛苦。

It is also about our anger toward others for failing us, and the belief we now have to perform their roles.

它也是關於我們對別人失敗的憤怒，以及我們現在必須履行角色的信念。

In reality, however, underneath this anger we believe we have failed them.

然而，在現實中，在這種憤怒下，我們相信我們失敗了。

Sacrifice, then, is an attempt to pay off this illusory guilt.

那麼，犧牲是試圖償還這種虛幻的內疚。

This dynamic, which begins in childhood, is at the heart of what creates the family patterns we have carried into our present relationships, and into our way of being in the world.

這種動態，從童年開始創造，是家庭模式中的核心，並滲入我們在世界上存在的方式與現有關係中。

In fact, most sacrifice is generated out of family patterns.

事實上，大多數犧牲是從家庭模式產生的。

One may be in sacrifice to try to save the family (the martyr role).

一個可能用犧牲，以試圖拯救家庭的角色（烈士）。

But this never helps, because we are really using the family to hold ourselves back.

但這從來沒有幫助，因為我們真的使用家庭來約束自己。

This type of ‘untrue helping’ becomes a form of enabling, which is based on a secret fear of the one(s) being helped getting better.

這種類型的 "不真實幫助" 成為一種付出形式，這是基於對一個人對被幫助而變得更好的潛在恐懼。

That would mean the ‘untrue helper; would also then be called to move forward.

這將意味著 "不真實的幫手"；也被要求向前推進。

So sacrifice becomes a defense against intimacy and against taking the next step.

所以犧牲成為防禦親密和反對獲得的下一步。

When you are in sacrifice, you are ‘in fusion’ with another, not knowing the boundaries between yourself and the ones to whom you are enslaved.

當你在犧牲時，你與另一個人 "融合" ，不明白自己和被奴役的人之間的界限。

Within this fused relationship, you either place yourself above the other － in the sense that you feel you have to carry them － or you put yourself below them, in that you feel you have to give up your own life in order to receive love and approval.

在這種融合關係中，你將自己放在另一個之上 - 某種意義上，你覺得你必須攜帶它們 - 或者你把自己放在他們之下，因為你覺得必須放棄自己的生活，以獲得愛和批准。

In either case, anyone in sacrifice is afraid of having an equal relationship and afraid of intimacy.

在任何一種情況下，任何犧牲的人都害怕有平等關係，害怕親密。

Whether you are seemingly above or below the other, there is a hidden judgment of the person you are sacrificing for.

無論你看起來在上位還是下面，都藏著對你所犧牲之人的判斷。

If you see yourself above the other, you feel superior; if you see yourself below them, you feel morally superior.

如果你看到自己在對方之上，你感覺高人一等；如果你看到自己在他們之下，你會覺得自己有道德上的優越。

So sacrifice actually feeds competition, which in turn, generates divisiveness, separation and fear.

因此，犧牲實際上促進競爭，產生分裂，分離和恐懼。


Using the card

使用該卡

If you receive this card today, you are being asked to examine areas where you are not receiving, as this is a sure sign you are in sacrifice in some way.

如果你今天收到這張卡，你被要求檢查你沒有收到的地方，因為這是一個確定的跡象，你在某種程度上犧牲。

The insidiousness of sacrifice makes everything difficult and burdensome, partly because, typically, we sacrifice out of our love for another, while devaluing ourselves.

犧牲的隱蔽性使一切都變得困難和繁重，部分原因是，我們通常犧牲我們對另一個人的愛，同時貶低自己。

This makes us less attractive in both our own and the other’s eyes.

這使我們在自己和他人眼中缺少吸引力。

Who is it you are in sacrifice to?

你在為誰犧牲？

What burden are you carrying that does not belong to you and which you are using as a form of avoidance, especially of intimacy?

你攜帶了什麼不屬於你的負擔，你正使用什麼形式逃避？特別是親密關係！

Sacrifice is a way of avoiding the contact which leads to success.

犧牲是避免接觸導致成功的一種方式。

In sacrifice you can work very hard and do lots of things, but, because you don’t give yourself, you don’t succeed.

在犧牲中，你可以努力工作，做很多事，但，因為你不給自己，你不會成功。

Today, you are asked to be true to yourself.

今天，你被要求對自己忠誠。

As Polonius says in Shakespeare's Hamlet, ‘To thine own self be true, and it must follow, as the night the day, thou canst not then be false to any man.’

正如波洛紐斯在莎士比亞的哈姆雷特說，"做真實的自己，正如黑夜始終追隨著白晝，你也必須遵行不渝，這樣你便不會欺騙任何人。"

As you free yourself, you will free others.

當你釋放自己，你會釋放別人。

As you live truly, others, too, can then live truly and authentically.

當你真正地過生活，其他人也可以真正真實地生活。