[開悟卡] 受害者牌組 期望

KEY CONCEPTS:

重要概念：

Demanding that Iife should fit our unfulfilled needs; perfectionism; fantasies; dissatisfaction; sense of inadequacy

要求生活應該符合我們未實現的需求；完美主義；幻想；不滿；不滿足的感覺




Expectations are a picture of how you think things should be.

期望是一幅你覺得事情應該是怎樣的圖片。

If you have an expectation, anything less than that becomes frustrating or disappointing.

如果你有一個期望，任何小小不符合會讓你變得沮喪或失望。

But even when the picture is fulfilled in exactly the way you want, it won’t the need you have inside.

但即使圖像被滿足的方式正是你所想，它也不是你真正的需要。

Even if you meet one expectation, you will just create higher ones, and thus never have a sense of satisfaction.

即使滿足你的期待，你也只會創造更高期望，因此永遠不會有滿足感。

This is a for frustration: under every demand is a need which wasn’t met at a past significant time in your life.

這是一個挫折：每個需求沒有在你過去的生活中被滿足。

In an attempt to make up for these needs, you form expectations.

為了彌補這些需求，你開始預期。

But even when these expectations are fulfilled to the letter, they cannot fulfil your old need, because that is in the past.

但即使這些期望得到滿足，他們仍無法滿足你的需要，因為這些期望是舊的，是過去式。

So, when someone demands something of you, you will either refuse to do it because it is a demand, or you will do it out of a feeling of sacrifice or duress.

所以，當有人這樣要求你，你要拒絕，因為它是強求，否則會有犧牲感或脅迫感。

And when you make a demand of someone, even if they do what you want, the good feeling of both receiving and giving is lost, because there is no contact between you.

當你強求別人，即使他們如你所想，你也不會感覺良好，因為你們間沒有連繫。

A person who has some kind of expectation will hear themselves using the following words: should, have to, got to, need to, ought to, or must - all of which lead to perfectionism (when anything less than perfect is considered failure).

一個人如果有某種期待，會聽到自己用以下話語：應該，必須，一定要，需要，理應，或所有都必需...這些導致了完美主義（不完美被認為失敗）。

This is a trap the ego uses to destroy any accomplishments that We make.

這是用來摧毀任何成就的自我陷阱。

It would have us feel we’re not good enough, and Whatever We do isn’t good enough, increasing our fear and sense of inadequacy.

它會讓我們覺得還不夠好，無論我們做的好不好，都會提高不滿足和恐懼感。

Using the card

使用該卡

If you get the card of expectations, which the major dynamic behind stress, you are being asked to set goals and targets instead of having expectations.

如果你抽到期望，你被要求設定目標，而不是預期目標。

This is because, if you miss a goal, it can be corrected and you can set new goals for yourself.

如果你錯過目標，它可以被糾正，或設定新目標。

If you miss an expectation, you tend to beat yourself up, creating higher and higher expectations for yourself.

但如果你錯過一個期望，你會自責不已，然後創造更高的期望。

When you receive this card, look at the expectations you are putting on yourself, and which you then necessarily put on others around you.

當您收到這張卡片，看看你對你自己的期望，與你投射在周圍的期望。

Any expectation you are putting on another is the result of something that you are not giving.

你的任何期望，是你沒有付出的結果。

For instance, if you expect your beloved to love you, it’s because you’re not loving yourself, or them.

例如，如果你希望有人愛你，那是因為你不愛自己，或其他人。

If you did, you would simply Want them to love you, and invite them to do that, rather than demand and expect it.

如果你沒有，你會想 "他們愛你" ，並邀請他們，而不是需求和期待。

This stance is naturally successful.

這立場是成功的。

You are being asked to enjoy the reality around you, and to let go of the fantasies you have in your mind.

你被邀請享受身邊的現實，並放手心中的幻想。

Fantasies dissociate you, creating distance between you and those around you; whereas it is the joining and connection we make with people which creates contact, success, satisfaction and love.

幻想離解你，讓你和周圍的人產生距離；而加入和連接讓我們與人創造，接觸，成功，滿意和愛。